The Eternal Fire
by Arrow-Eleven
Summary: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger is a bit of an exaggeration. However, it is a personal belief of mine that one has to nearly die to fully grasp on life. And death is no stranger to me. Not in the least. OC-centric, One-shot.


I remember I used to think I would spend my little eternity in the same world as I did back then. It was all that existed to me, after all. Stone and brick walls, and pavement under my paws. Back when I thought nothing could be better, simply because I did not know anything else.

And I look back and see the fault in that. I thought that place was perfect. It took me a long time, many moons after I left, to accept that nothing on our earth is perfect. There is just that which we accept and that which we do not. We must live with both, so they fuse into our souls, and the pain of life becomes so normal that we accept it, and we even mistake it for happiness. I lived in that illusion once. No longer, however, do I allow it to shroud my vision. After all I do like to think of myself as a fire. Harsh and unrelenting, forceful and bold, never to be redirected from the path it has chosen.

That is why I was so happy with my name, when it was given to me. I am the cool cut through a hot, raging force.

I am Frostfire.

!.!.!.!.!Many moons earlier, in a very different place, and set of mind!.!.!.!.!

"If you don't hurry Leap, he's not going to share with us!"

"I know, sorry! I'm coming!"

"You two are being loud. Do you want a pack of dogs on our tails?

The panting smoky gray tom finally reached his brother, closely followed by his russet-colored companion, their sister.

"Snap, you're way faster than him, why don't you run with me instead?"

Because you're a stupid haughty fur ball, that's why.

"If something came up behind us, it would be better if I was there, ready for it."

"Uh huh. I think it's because you feel bad for the runt."

"I'm not a runt, Snare! I'm just a bit smaller than the two of you."

"Whatever you and Snap call it, it doesn't change the fact, Leap.

Don't be so mean to our little brother, Snare. Leap's never done anything to you.

"Runty, useless, pathetic. Really, I don't know why we even keep you with us. It's not like you contribute or anything- OW! SNAP!"

Well, that's what you get, stupid. There was now a bit of gleaming blood on Snap's claws, from where she's struck her brother's shoulder.

"It's what you get for being horrible to our little brother. Leap does contribute, and even if he didn't we'd still take care of him because he's our brother Snare, and that means we love each other. We're all we have."

I don't understand him. He acts like we only stay together because we want to. We're family. Why doesn't Snare get that? We've always looked out for each other. But he acts like Leap is completely useless. Well… tell yourself the truth Snap, Leap doesn't do much. He's just so small…

"Well, anyways, I'm hungry. Let's find something to eat!"

It had to have been hours after that, that it happened. An event that would change my life momentously. It took time, finding food there. A lot of time. Painstaking searches through the alleys in the mostly baron territory that we occupied. Slowly looking through bins of human trash, looking for anything edible. We did find things, but almost never enough to satisfy the constantly present gnawing in our stomachs. We would usually split apart, to cover more ground. This was probably my biggest mistake, leaving small, helpless Leap all alone. I just didn't get there in time.

I can remember most of this clearly, as I was so terrified; it was forever burned into my brain. I had just padded into an alleyway, trying to keep my hopes up that there would be something to keep my hunger pains at bay… At least for a little while. That's when I heard it.

A cry of terror, coming from the east. A cry I'd heard several times before. This was my little brother's ultimate cry of distress.

"Leap?! Hold on! I'm coming!"

I raced towards the sound letting all caution to the wind.

I have to get there. Something's hurting my little brother and… and I just can't let that happen.

My white and gray tail flashed around a bend, and then I saw something, that I will never forget.

Leaps motionless, bloody body, lying at an awkward angel on the side of the alley. There was blood scattered everywhere, a large pool surrounding the lifeless body of a little gray tomcat. And there was another cat there as well. Standing in his own crimson shadow, stood my other brother.

Snare's head immediately shot to the side and he jumped at me, claws ready to strike, and blood dripping off of them and his muzzel like something from a nightmare.

But he faltered, and let his paws fall back against the ground, though he kept his claws out.

"Y-you… You... No…"

My brain had frozen and my entire world crashed in upon me.

I think Snare said something, but I never heard it. I had turned and run. I didn't know where too; After all, where could I go, that Snare couldn't find me. Because he wouldn't kill me. It had always been Leap that he hated. No, he'd try to get me to share his twisted mind. To think the way he did. That the weak had to die, or the strong could not survive.

That's when I decided something important. Wherever I was going, I wanted to be somewhere that cats cared for one another. Where no one thought like my brother. No. I have no brother. I'm alone. I-I have nothing to do with that monster.

And so it was. Everything I had ever believed in was gone. One of the only two beings in my life I cared about was dead, and the other one I loved had been the one to kill him. Nothing was right in the world now.

I wandered for several moons. Never staying in one place very long, constantly trying to find something. And nobody knew what it was that I searched for. Even I didn't.

So I became cold and harsh tempered. I talked to no one. My tongue became so lax from disuse at one point that it was hard to use it.

I starved myself. Both because there was nothing to eat and I didn't want to eat anyhow.

That's how they found me. Emaciated and weak, unable to speak, on the brink of killing myself.

Redbird tells me now that I slept for two weeks. I think it's a bit overboard, however I've never heard any different.

When I did wake up, I felt better than I had in ages. Before I left the city, I hadn't been one hundred percent healthy, but my condition in my time alone had left me on the brink of dying.

But, now… My joints had stopped aching the sores on my paws had faded and were healing, the ever-present hunger was no more, and I was more peaceful than I had ever been, in that moment.

I stood and stretched, twisting my neck so it popped.

"Ah, I see my patient has awakened at last. I have to tell you, you were a piece of work, getting you back into shape."

My head whipped around, to face a grinning red and white patched cat.

"Oh. I suppose you don't know me. Forgive me; I've become quite comfortable with you while you've been in my den. I feel almost like we're friends, and you don't even know my name, do you?"

"W-what is your name?"

The voice that had said that wasn't mine. It was similar, but… It was rougher, grainer, as if I had swallowed a bunch of sand. Maybe that's what happens, when you don't use your voice for so long.

"My name is Redbird, medicine cat of SkyClan."

"SkyClan? I've heard that name before… It's one of those groups of cats that live in the wilds!"

"That would be us. Now, would you care to tell me your name? I hope you don't mind, but I've come up with a bit of a nickname for you. Frosty. For those interesting white patches you have."

"My name is-"

Wait. Do I really want this cat to know my name? And… I sort of like that. Being named for my patches. Frosty. Huh.

"My name doesn't matter. But you can continue to call me Frosty, if you'd like."

"Ah, hard past, huh? I've meet other cats like that, that don't use their real names. Never met one that attempted to kill themselves via starvation before, though."

"I wasn't _trying_ to kill myself. I… Just didn't want to stop looking."

"Looking? For what, may I ask?

I closed my eyes. So many things could be an answer to that question. Leap? Snare? My family? Myself? All of those?

But one answer was truer than the rest. What I had truly been searching for.

"Home. I was searching for home."

"Home, huh? I don't suppose you were lost?"

"No… Well, sort of. I didn't know where I was going, but there wasn't a particular place I was trying to find. Does that make sense?"

Redbird chuckled "No, not really, but I suppose I can understand."

"Oh."

"And you're welcome here, Frosty, if you would like to stay."

And I did. SkyClan was everything I could hope for. Kits running around, apprentices training with their mentors, elders discussing things peacefully. It caused long forgotten words to ring in my head. _"Wherever I'm going, I want to be somewhere that cats care for one another. Where no one thinks like my brother"_ This was that place. This was home.

I'll admit that we're not perfect.

I know for certain that my past is twisted and bloody.

There are whispers of horrible things to come at the hands of our leader

But it's okay.

I'll live in the present.

Because, right here, right now, I don't have to remember my past, I know I have a future, I have friends, a clan that I am forever loyal to, and I will forever be Frostfire of SkyClan


End file.
